The Classical Cinkara Ad Rip-Off

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If you forgot to brush your teeth last night...

For the first time, I am displaying a posting from someone else's website.. but its worth it.  Short but powerful, this motivational message sums up a great deal in a few words.

If you forgot to brush your teeth last night, did you decide this morning to throw in the towel and never brush your teeth again? Since you're obviously a slob who doesn't have enough self- discipline to remember to brush your teeth, why bother brushing them at all if you forgot to last night?

Of course not.

So if you had ice cream for dinner last night, or didn't exercise yesterday, or gained a pound this week, don't throw in the towel! Make a healthier choice for dinner tonight by eating something lean. Go for a short walk. Weigh in again next week.

Just do NOT give up. 

Lisa.

You Can Call it "Language Pollution"

INDIA AND THE UGLY RISE OF 'FRIENDLY' SWEARING IN PUBLIC

C***U!!! I heard the teenager swear loudly as he walked down the parking lot. And no, he wasn't angry; he was swearing at his friend, just out of fun and as a part of regular discussion.

B** C**D!!! This time outside a store same day evening, this other teenager on a Honda Activa swore the favourite Indian gaali at his friend who was standing about 50 meters away. And again, he was not scorning, he was simply indulging in friendly swearing.

Friendly swearing is the new in-thing. It is becoming a cult of sorts. And though friendly swearing has always been considered normal amongst friends, the habit is now showing up loudly in the social sphere. However, in its new avatar this seemingly harmless habit should be raising an alarm.

What Is Going Wrong?

Shouting out swear words in public places is extremely embarrassing for bystanders. Imagine a family unit - husband, wife and kids - moving around together, and a gang of youngsters suddenly begin to hollering swear words at each other, followed by a devilish group cackle. Can you visualize the situation? The helplessness of the adults at the sheer insult of their family's sanctity?

These days, we not only have to breathe foul air, we must also put up with foul language. Its a new type of pollution seeping through the Indian society. Call it Language Pollution!

We Need A Code of Conduct for Social Behavior

The code of conduct for social behavior should consist of the Biblical statement "Do Unto Others As You Want Them To Do Unto You".

Its funny though, that the very people who indulge in indecent swearing in public behavior, are ready to indulge in a brawl over someone else's indecent behavior. It is indeed ironical that they take up the task of policing others, whereas let themselves run amok in the society, tearing up threads of decency which bind community living together.

Why Are Teenagers Acting So Indecent?

I was discussing this problem with a very close friend of mine, and she rightly pointed out two reasons:

1. Earlier considered to be a sign of ill upbringing and low quality behavior, social swearing is now becoming part of cool behavior.

2. It is a form of power display, where the swearer gains a sense of social power by being indecent in public. (remember Munnabhai of M.B.B.S. fame? or Pakiya of Satya fame?)

What Can Be Done?

I don't really think we can stop it from happening. But to think we are helpless bystanders does not seem right either. Hence, I tried to think of ways to reverse this trend:

1. Parents should devote more time to their kids. One of the primary reasons why swearing was not so much the in-thing earlier, is because we were accountable to our parents who were spending a lot of loving time with us. With the advent of the dual 3 letter words - MBA and MNC - Indians are trading time with family and kids for their career enhancement. And then we claim to be smart traders. Bah! Kids can never be accountable to WeekEnd-Parents
   
   (WeekEnd-Parent adj. A parent who is only available to the kids for a very few hours on weekends. In case of month end, weekend-parent is not available even on weekends)
   
   
2. Btw, I am not saying we give up our jobs and become housewives and house-husbands and full time parents. But being from the same land that bore the Great Buddha, we must be smart enough to find our own 'middle path'.
   
   
3. Movies, television and print media should not promote swearing and use of low quality language as cool. The 'Bhai' language, a favorite of the Indian cinema, sure has its pitfalls.
   
   
4. Socially swearing without concern for others' feelings is a form of apathy, rebel and a release of repressed emotions. Being pressurized to perform academically and not allowed to connect with and fulfill their natural talent causes a feeling of repression and resentment. This helplessness of the youth surfaces as aggressive, indecent behavior. It is also a way to draw people's attention to the self in a world where everyone is unknowingly feeling lonely.
   
   
5. If the society and education fine tunes towards helping individuals achieve their potential rather than force them into pre-defined standard-sized academically labeled boxes, I am sure that kids will develop sensitivity towards the society from a very young age.
   
   The kids will respect a society which respects their individuality, and hence their aggression and rebellious spirit will give way to a harmonized existence with the society at large.

This is my set of socially creative ideas to counter the increasing language pollution spread by loud friendly swearing in public places. I would love to hear your experiences and comments on the same.

The Chak De! Irony

Chak De! did a chak de at all the award functions. It made a clean sweep in all categories. Best Actor, Best Director, Best This, Best That. Watching this irony brought a sly, helpless smile on my face.

It's really ironical: A film about a bunch of ambitious women wanting to make it big in hockey makes it to the headlines, becomes a crowd puller, a super-hit, and wins tons of awards. While the real bunch of ambitious women wanting to make it big in hockey pass by totally unkwown. Everyone recognizes Sagarika Ghatge (Preeti Sabarwal) or Vidya Malavde (Vidya Sharma), but none of us probably even knows the captain of the real Indian Women's Hockey Team, or its star strikers.

Ironical, that a made-up act runs in circles around the real act. The unreal becomes greater than the real. The persona surpasses the person. Boy! it sure is a damn funny world to live in.

I think it would have been great, if at the end of Chak De! India, Shahrukh would have gotten the entire Indian Women's Hockey Team for real and introduced them to the Indians. He had a big chance to create real celebrities out of them and giving Indian Women's Hockey a great fillip; and it is a big chance missed.

However, I also realized that Chak De! was not really a movie about hockey. It was a movie about aspirational (female) youngsters who are willing to stake both their relationships and their pride for pursuing their enchantment. It is this quality which creates a crowd-winning formula as it appeals to all. The main reason for this appeal is that each of us has a hidden desire to reach out for the stars, but very few of us actually manage to do so.

On the other hand, maybe the movie actually leaves us with an idea of how to actually make Indian Women's Hockey successful and the team a celebrity. If the federation succeeds in making a connection between the players and the Indian population like the movie does, it will create a new level of interest in the game. In fact, the movie is a testimonial to the fact that no one is actually interested in the game, but they are interested in the thrill of victory and in the emotional roller coaster a game takes them on.

Understanding and knowing the players as a person will provide the required emotional aptitude for enjoying the game. The players and their personal stories with interesting photoshoots must be featured in newspapers, in reality shows, in news and in advertisements. Actually, they make great material for a reality show, where the audience is taken into the lives, struggles, hopes and ambitions of each player. Later, everyone will want to watch the games of team of persons they are emotional about. When the players will know that there are a billion people emotional about their winning, guess what? They will start winning!!!

The success of Chak De! has surely shown a path to popularize not just hockey, but any game. Let the audience connect with the players off the playground, and then they will want to watch the players on the playground. Add a generous garnish of glamour to the emotions and you have the right recipe for success with the audience at large!

Chak De! Sports!!!

Woman's Day Special - 2

Behind Those Legs, Is a Woman

Click. Click. Click.  Heels make such an undeniable sound as they tap against the polished granite floor of the airport.  And two beautiful legs in stockings grow out of these heels, meeting the edge of a miniskirt which flirts with the eyes of every man present.  Air hostesses - I wonder who came up with this beautiful idea!  

The very presence of these women brightens up an otherwise boring, mundane wait at the airport with nothing to do.  Dressed in colourful elegance they strut around the place, attracting wide eyed looks.  Their make up is so perfect, you could click a photo of any of them on any day and directly use it for a Loreal colour cosmetic advertisement.  And those legs in miniskirts and stockings, and the heels - those are the culmination of a voyeur's delight.

Last week I was traveling to Mumbai.  As usual, I had a one-and-a-half-hour mundane wait at the airport.  And as usual, it was time to watch the pairs of legs play peek-a-boo from behind the stockings.  Suddenly, one of them slipped and fell.  And in pain - She Screamed !  I jolted out of my semi-consciousness and my widened eyes focused as I came back to my senses.  She had screamed!!  

Yes, she was a woman.  She was human.  When she fell, it hurt her just like it would hurt me.  Airhostess - woman - human ?  Funny, I realised that connection didn't strongly exist in my brain.

Some staff came running to help her.  She wasn't badly hurt, just sprained her ankle lightly.  They helped her limp to the office to give her some first aid.  In a few minutes, she was back in business - still limping a bit, but back in business - and headed towards the security check.

With the commotion over and the queue for a boarding pass lessened, I walked over to get mine (I hate those queues and avoid the long ones whenever possible, especially on short journeys where I don't care what seat I get).  The computer system stalled right when it was my turn, so I chatted up the airline attendant at the counter.  I told Akangshaa that she had a nice name and asked her what part of India was she from and what inspired her to join an airline company.  

Akangshaa is from a town near Delhi.  Her father was holding a clerical position in a government organisation, and her mother does part-time tailoring to support the family.  The family wanted her to be on her own and so her father took a loan to fund an expensive course which leads to a career in airlines.  She worked very hard and was found it hard to accustom to the new rituals of mannerisms, etiquettes and taking on a dolled-up look.  She worked hard and was one of the lucky ones who actually got a placement, as most girls and boys in her batch could not secure a job with any airline even after paying hefty course fees.  She dreamed of flying as no one in her family had ever flown in an airplane.  But she could only secure a ground staff position and hopes to be able to become a cabin crew sometime in her life.  With passing time, it might not be possible for her to do that.  But she is atleast happy to work with a reputed company, have a respectable job, and even though she has to stay away from her family and work odd hours, she is able to support her family back home.  

Blink!  The computer system blinked back to life.  My boarding pass was processed and my luggage transferred into oblivion through a conveyor belt.  My security check had been announced so I went there directly and got myself a metal detector check that proved I wasn't a terrorist or didn't have any plans of blowing up or hijacking a plane.  That morning as I waited in the lounge, I heard a lot of heels click and a saw a lot of shapely legs play peek-a-boo through the stockings.

But my mind wasn't on that anymore.  Akangshaa had distracted me.  The heels and stockings contained the aspirations of a woman I had usually missed - a woman with dreams like any other, ambitious and hard working, toiling at odd hours and staying away from her family for days at length.  The glamour hides the turmoils of her heart, the mascara hides the sigh in her eyes, the clicking heels hide the whisper of her desires.  Dealing with tons of obnoxious self-centered travelers everyday, she hides her scorn with a plastered smile and greets everyone with grace.

That morning in the airport departure lounge, my mind drifted from the heels, stockings and the miniskirts.  I had a new realisation running through me.  Behind each pair of legs, was a woman.

Women's Day Special - 1

Why I Don't Celebrate Women's Day

"You didn't wish me on Women's Day!!"  She was shouting, almost scolding me.  It was about 8 PM on 8th March, celebrated world wide as women's day. I hadn't wished her.  And that did set me wondering.

 

Why, why at all hadn't I wished her?  I knew it was women's day.  The newspapers, the radio and the billboards all across town had been screaming it into my ears since so many days.  There were conferences happening all over town to celebrate women's day.  From felicitation functions to morchas against domestic violence, woman's day was in-your-face.  So then, why had I not wished her - a Happy Women's Day? 

 

I thought and I thought, and I concluded this:  There Is No Celebration Happening Here!

For Heaven's sake, Women's Day is no celebration.  If at all it is an event, it is a mourning event.  Why?? Well, this is going to be kinda tough to explain, but I'll try.

 

Let me try to make a point using a negative stance. 

 

Why don't we celebrate men's day?  Simply because, we believe that men enjoy their rightful place in the society and there is no need to designate a special day in the calendar when we need to bring the focus to "men's issues".  Conclusively, women must not have yet obtained their rightful place in the society and that is the reason why we need to designate a special day for them.  On this day, women's issues are brought to the world's attention - issues of domestic violence, issues of inequality, issues of gender discrimination.

 

So what makes you think that it is a cause for celebration?  To acknowledge that we still need a "Women's Day", is to acknowledge that women have yet to obtain their rightful place in the society.  The day of a beautiful equality is yet to come.  It's a horizon we yet need to conquer.  A day when a woman is not discriminated against just because she is a woman; and that she is celebrated in her multiple roles - a mother, a sister, a daughter, a wife and a daughter-in-law.  A day when the role of the feminine is accepted to be as important as the role of the masculine.  A day when  compassion is considered equal to strength. 

 

That, my friends, will be a day of celebration, a day I'll gladly wish her.  For now, the very existence of women's day, is a cause for mourning.  And I refuse to wish any woman, a "Happy Woman's Day".

Beware: Childhood Values Die Hard

LESSONS FROM A SALT SPRINKLER

Today, I was waiting by the roadside when my eyes fell on a little kid. He seemed to be doing something. It was dusk and the light wasn't too bright, so I leaned in with narrowed eyes to make out what he was upto. He was sprinkling salt all over with a salt sprayer!

Seemingly, his parents had taken him along to a little streetside cafe. They were sitting at a table waiting for their food to come, while the little kid had picked up the salt sprayer and was sprinkling salt all over.

Now, kids are always upto such antics. But this one deserves a mention because his parents dumbly were watching him do it. No reprimanding him, no asking him not to do it... not realizing they are setting themselves up for raising a kid who probably will never become a valuable citizen.

I may sound too far fetched, but this little act of theirs is basically a signal to their kid that anything that belongs to another, need not be valued. Salt is dirt cheap, but for the kid there is no difference between salt, clothes, watches or diamonds. He is learning a dangerous lesson.

If the same thing were happening at home, would the mom and dad be so totally quiet? Would they let him sprinkle all the salt they have purchased just for play? If they wouldn't let him do that at home, why let him do that at a restaurant? Just because the salt is not chargeable?

Silly people! I presume, that they let him act the same anywhere. As long as it is not ours, son, and we won't have to pay for misuse or damage, go ahead and spoil it. This little kid might grow up to violate traffic rules, throw garbage on the streets, care a damn about the environment and have no vigor to defend a cause. He might just end up as another useless citizen like the hordes of them we already hoard, that fail to think beyond the boundary of their own home and self. Values sown in childhood go a long way. But who is going to instill them?

Not school. School is just for developing scholastic skills. They will teach them to measure the distance between Earth and Jupiter, but not teach how to measure the impact of them garbage on the streets. Not TV. TV will teach them how to run behind hollow beautiful exteriors and lower one's self esteem, and not teach how to look beyond the obvious and feel better internally. Not religion. Religion will teach them how to chant prayers and pray for miracles, and not teach them how to go out and take charge of their own destiny. So it is left to the parents to instill some values, and they too are backing off in this case. And I can be sure this is not an isolated case. Tons of parents are backing off. They spend thousands on scholastic skills, and not a penny or minute on life values.

The society needs better citizens. It is upto the parents to make sure they instill the right values in their kids. Or we will collectively, pay the price - That of a society of self contained individuals who only drain from the collective but never contribute.

Flirt Fine and Pay the Fine!

"In some places, flirting is illegal. In Little Rock, AK, an antiquated law is still on the books warning that engaging in playful banter may result in a 30-day jail term. In New York City, another outdated law mandates that men may be fined $25 for gazing lasciviously at a female; a second conviction stipulates the offender wear a pair of blinders whenever he goes out for a walk."

Huh?  Interesting, isn't it??

So next time in that Karan Johar movie, he better take care when Shah Rukh latches at a girl in NY, he could end up paying $25 as a fine and end up wearing blinders!!!  :)

Some archaic laws just exist for the sake of existing, and in a way I'm glad they aren't done away with.  They provide so much humour in our daily humdrum life. 

A (Stray Indian) Dog's Life

This is a scene of somewhere close to my house in Ahmedabad (Gujarat), India.  "Street Dogs" are an interesting concept in India.  They are stray dogs who no one owns, and they live on the street.  They mark their own neighborhoods and are usually fed lazy by the residents.  Usually harmless, these dogs provide a funny addition to the city landscape.  The only difficult moments arise when some berserk dog tries to attack the people, and that one is then rounded off by the municipality.

These dogs are lazing around on the sand in the winter sun.  Totally impervious to the road they lie in peace, basking themselves to glory.  

I recollect discussions I've had with friends in the USA when I used to live there, and it was almost impossible for me to explain what stray / street dogs are.  The concept of having dogs owned by nobody was totally alien to them.  But to me, its a way of life. 

So well, this is a Dog's Life in India. Any takers???  

If you're interested, you can write to one of these dogs at stray.peanuts@indianstraydogs.com :)

Eastern Open-mindedness Vs. Western Narrow-mindedness

This is a conversation between my friend (who's settled in the US now) and I, at a restaurant in India:

Me: I wanna use the washroom

He: Me too

Me: Let's go find where it is

(We walk around, ask a couple of waiters and reach the washroom.  Its just one wooden door.  I open and walk inside)

Me (to He): Oh, there are two commodes here.  Come in.

He (reluctantly): Well..

Me: What well? There are two commodes here, we can both relieve ourselves.

He (walks in with reluctance): Okay

(After completing the task, we walk out.)

He (Smiling now): I could never do this in the USA!

Me (I've lived in the US too): I know, they'd all think you and I are gay

He: Yea!

Me (Laughing)

He (Laughing)

No but really, the west is so narrow-minded.  All the Americans can think of between two persons is the possibility of a sexual relationship or no relationship at all.  This is ridiculous.

In Hindi-Urdu combine, we must have more than a score of words to describe different types of love.  The makers of English language chose to give it poverty in this context.  There is only one majorly used word for love – love itself.

I was discussing with a Jewish friend of mine, who had gone to a family wedding in NY and had fun dancing with all the guys without anyone concerned about 'queerdom'.  He had felt sheer joy in having fun without the worries of being misjudged or misconceived.

In the east, we have a lot of fun together (again, this statement if made in the USA would refer to sexual fun – there is no other form of fun left anymore).  It's about friendship, about bonding (oops! Bonding is another word one should avoid or be branded as queer).  A touch from a friend goes a long way in making life warmer, better, secure.

During my first days in the US, I was told that it is almost a sin for two guys to put their arms on each other shoulders while hanging out, or even patting on the back!  Now, if two guys are holding hands and walking, that could raise an eyebrow.  But patting the back or putting your arm around a shoulder – these are basic gestures of human warmth.  No wonder the west is full of cold people longing for a touch of human warmth... and it's not a touch on the body I am talking about, it's a touch on the heart.  A touch that secures, a touch that conveys – I am there for you. 

It's gone missing.  Everyone's become so narrow-minded.  In such times, I love my east.

The Poor Li’l Fidgeting Indian Bride

It's so funny to see the Indian bride on her wedding day and the wedding reception day (the party for all people post-wedding).  She is all decked up in her best clothes and jewelry.  But behold!  This has made her so extremely uncomfortable.  You see, girls aren't really used to wearing this much anymore.  Watching her trying to balance her heavily embroidered saree is really a funny sight, unparrelled even by comedy cinema.  The poor thing keeps a straight face, and constantly smiles at the sea of endless visitors, while on the other hand constantly fidgeting with her clothes and jewelry or asking her friends for help.

But hey, it's her wedding day. It's so special. Isn't she supposed to look her best?  I dunno. You answer that for yourself.  If you really ask yourself you'll come across these questions - look her best for whom? For what? It's a special day but why does special have to be so uncomfortable?   Why are we so busy appeasing the "society" most of the time, that we forget the most important fact: finally, its we who should be having the most fun.

The poor Indian bride.  In her effort to look her best and win accolades for her looks (that is all girls are judged on in weddings anyways; who, including all the other women too, cares for her character, her attitude or her ability to make a good wife), compromises on the basic sartorial comfort that would have let her enjoy her wedding in totality.  

Kaun, kise?

This is me talking to a lighted cigarette as the fire singes it downwards:

Tu Mujhe Peeti Hai..
Ki Mein Tujhe Peeta Hun?

Ye Kaisi Kashmkash Mein, Mei Rehta Hun..

Zindagi Mujhe Jeeti Hai..
Ya Mein Zindagi Jeeta Hun;

Ye Kaise Kashmkash Mein Mei Rehta Hun.

English Translation:

Do You Smoke Me..
Or Do I Smoke You?

In This Confusion, I Live..

Do You Live Me Life..
Or Do I Live You;

In This Confusion, I Live..