Eastern Open-mindedness Vs. Western Narrow-mindedness

This is a conversation between my friend (who's settled in the US now) and I, at a restaurant in India:

Me: I wanna use the washroom

He: Me too

Me: Let's go find where it is

(We walk around, ask a couple of waiters and reach the washroom.  Its just one wooden door.  I open and walk inside)

Me (to He): Oh, there are two commodes here.  Come in.

He (reluctantly): Well..

Me: What well? There are two commodes here, we can both relieve ourselves.

He (walks in with reluctance): Okay

(After completing the task, we walk out.)

He (Smiling now): I could never do this in the USA!

Me (I've lived in the US too): I know, they'd all think you and I are gay

He: Yea!

Me (Laughing)

He (Laughing)

No but really, the west is so narrow-minded.  All the Americans can think of between two persons is the possibility of a sexual relationship or no relationship at all.  This is ridiculous.

In Hindi-Urdu combine, we must have more than a score of words to describe different types of love.  The makers of English language chose to give it poverty in this context.  There is only one majorly used word for love – love itself.

I was discussing with a Jewish friend of mine, who had gone to a family wedding in NY and had fun dancing with all the guys without anyone concerned about 'queerdom'.  He had felt sheer joy in having fun without the worries of being misjudged or misconceived.

In the east, we have a lot of fun together (again, this statement if made in the USA would refer to sexual fun – there is no other form of fun left anymore).  It's about friendship, about bonding (oops! Bonding is another word one should avoid or be branded as queer).  A touch from a friend goes a long way in making life warmer, better, secure.

During my first days in the US, I was told that it is almost a sin for two guys to put their arms on each other shoulders while hanging out, or even patting on the back!  Now, if two guys are holding hands and walking, that could raise an eyebrow.  But patting the back or putting your arm around a shoulder – these are basic gestures of human warmth.  No wonder the west is full of cold people longing for a touch of human warmth... and it's not a touch on the body I am talking about, it's a touch on the heart.  A touch that secures, a touch that conveys – I am there for you. 

It's gone missing.  Everyone's become so narrow-minded.  In such times, I love my east.

The Poor Li’l Fidgeting Indian Bride

It's so funny to see the Indian bride on her wedding day and the wedding reception day (the party for all people post-wedding).  She is all decked up in her best clothes and jewelry.  But behold!  This has made her so extremely uncomfortable.  You see, girls aren't really used to wearing this much anymore.  Watching her trying to balance her heavily embroidered saree is really a funny sight, unparrelled even by comedy cinema.  The poor thing keeps a straight face, and constantly smiles at the sea of endless visitors, while on the other hand constantly fidgeting with her clothes and jewelry or asking her friends for help.

But hey, it's her wedding day. It's so special. Isn't she supposed to look her best?  I dunno. You answer that for yourself.  If you really ask yourself you'll come across these questions - look her best for whom? For what? It's a special day but why does special have to be so uncomfortable?   Why are we so busy appeasing the "society" most of the time, that we forget the most important fact: finally, its we who should be having the most fun.

The poor Indian bride.  In her effort to look her best and win accolades for her looks (that is all girls are judged on in weddings anyways; who, including all the other women too, cares for her character, her attitude or her ability to make a good wife), compromises on the basic sartorial comfort that would have let her enjoy her wedding in totality.  

Kaun, kise?

This is me talking to a lighted cigarette as the fire singes it downwards:

Tu Mujhe Peeti Hai..
Ki Mein Tujhe Peeta Hun?

Ye Kaisi Kashmkash Mein, Mei Rehta Hun..

Zindagi Mujhe Jeeti Hai..
Ya Mein Zindagi Jeeta Hun;

Ye Kaise Kashmkash Mein Mei Rehta Hun.

English Translation:

Do You Smoke Me..
Or Do I Smoke You?

In This Confusion, I Live..

Do You Live Me Life..
Or Do I Live You;

In This Confusion, I Live..

Invasion of the Metal Trees

Yuck! Its a disgrace!! And worse still, people actually think they look good!!! Stupid ugly looking metal tree fountains adorn the cityscape in Ahmedabad.

These metal creatures are awful. A repulsive white stem rises lifelessly into the sky and numerous hideous stems butt out in all directions from the top of the stem. I'll be modest here to confess that the fountain doesn't look so bad at night when the water is flowing from it. But most of the day, the fountain is switched off. And even when it is switched on, the sight is nothing compared to the extremely beautiful fountains that exist all over the world.

And our municipality seems to have fallen in love with these trees. They are sprouting all over - parks, cross roads, even government offices. The restaurants and hotels also seem to have taken fancy to them and have garnished their properties with them. We are running out of the brown and green trees, and are planting lifeless ugly beings instead.

Why shall we here in Ahmedabad, always end up preferring the low taste items? Why shall we always keep ourselves away from beautiful appreciable monuments?

Will we never believe; We are worthy of better?

Too Good ??

I realise that sometimes, unhappiness is simply the lack of problems in life. When not faced by something really challenging, there is nothing fulfilling at the end of the tunnel. The tunnel, many times, seems more fun than open skies i guess.

I am chatting with a friend and all she can do is give me 2 to 4 letter words - okay, fine, ya, will do. She has a good life really - good parents, good family, good job, good pay, good car. And i guess, thats what her problem is too. Its all just to good! Good feels good only as the light at the end of the tunnel. Once under the open skies for long, the wind loses its charm, the blue sky looks like nothing special, and the ride seems too boring.

Lets go seek a tunnel to conquer!

Men No Pause - Father at age 90 !!!

My first hint came from watching an MTV Cribs featuring Hugh Hefner, where they guy aged 70+ years has a kid who is in his teens. So came the thought in my brain - What age until when a man is still fertile ??

I asked a Dr who told me there is age is no factor for men's fertility, only age. Well, here is a scoop I found in this thought process..

Today's newspaper talks about Nanu Ram Jogi, a 90 year old Indian whose wife bore him a baby!! And this child is indeed, his own!!

Jogi married his own daughter in law when his son died, leaving a young widow. In rural India, a young widow finds herself on the edge of being socially ostracized, and Jogi didn't want her to suffer. This act has led to him fathering a child with a girl 60 years younger to him.

Not commenting on the state of affairs in rural India pertaining to social laws, I keep myself to only happily wondering at the age of men's fertility. Hmmm.. and at 28, people are telling me I should get married and have kids asap, or it'll be too late. Is it, really, is it? :)

The Incomplete List of Indian 7 Wonders...

How much ever stupid I find this whole exercise of voting to decide the Seven Wonders is, it still is.

So well, today were declared the results of the Indian 7 wonders voting. Surprisingly, the Indian wonder in the global list -the Taj, makes it to only No. 3. This surely shows the hidden treasures of India; the magnificent sights and structures which the world is yet unknown to. So much tourism is yet possible, so many stories are yet to be shared.

The currently voted list is:

Shravanbelagola Temple (Jain place of worship)
Golden Temple (Sikh place of worship)
Taj Mahal (Mausoleum)
Hampi (14th Century ruins)
Konark (Sun God Temple)
Nalanda (World's first residential university)
Khajuraho (Hindu and Jain temples with erotic scuplture)

And even this list of 7 Indian wonders, misses out on a tonne of wonders and magnificent structures. I think we need a state wise 7 wonders list in this country of 28 states, to atleast be able to do a tinge of justice to the magnificence that lays strewn across India.

Never can be possible to find a wonder of wonders in a wonder that is India, really!

The Temple with Silver Doors

Its a classic case of man's incessant attempts towards crossing the materialism line.

There is a lovely little temple of Lord Hanuman on my usual route to office. Until recently, it used to be sweet and calming, with a rustic look and an earthen compound surrounding it. Beautiful earthen lamps were lit every evening, and the sound of bells during aarti (prayer) would soothe the anxiety of a work day if passing by it during that hour.

And then, suddenly, one day quite recently.. God (and me) faced the tyranny of misguided values of materialism. A 'happy' devotee on the fulfillment of some prayer, spent money to get it repainted with bright white oilpaint, and replace the wooden doors with doors made out of silver! Well, it doesnt stop there. Silver doors will need theft protection, so the temple now has a paid guard all 24 hours... well.. guarding GOD!! Hmm.. not exactly God, but his "silver doors".

I have also noticed they've put some jewellery on the God.

And gone are the earthen lamps.. only to be replaced with gaudy fluorescent colorful lamps. The sweet bells have been replaced by prerecorded bells tinkle and dhol (drums) rythym and the deafening cacophony is switched on during an aarti, adding to the already troublesome noise pollution.

It cuts through my heart to see this happen. Though being one of those who visit a temple only when in need, Lord Hanuman temples have been a source of peace for me whenever I've needed it. The earthen lamps and the glow of a flickering flame, sweet tinkle of the bells, the openness.. all of these elements are so soothing. Now usually behind locked doors and under the aegis of a guard, it is not too different from visiting a jewellery store. Funny to think man can please God with gold and silver, and with oilpaints and fluorescent lights and electric cacophony, isn't it? There are such better ways to spend wealth, and to be religious *sigh*

And yes, I no longer visit that temple. I doubt if God does either.

Definition of the "Rat Race" - by Robert Kiyosaki

"If you look at the life of the average-educated, hard-working person, there is a similar path. The child is born and goes to school. The proud parents are excited because the child excels, gets fair to good grades, and is accepted into a college. The child graduates, maybe goes on to graduate school and then does exactly as programmed: looks for a safe, secure job or career. The child finds that job, maybe as a doctor or a lawyer, or joins the Army or works for the government. Generally, the child begins to make money, credit cards start to arrive in mass, and the shopping begins, if it already hasn't.

"Having money to burn, the child goes to places where other young people just like them hang out, and they meet people, they date, and sometimes they get married. Life is wonderful now, because today, both men and women work. Two incomes are bliss. They feel successful, their future is bright, and they decide to buy a house, a car, a television, take vacations and have children. The happy bundle arrives. The demand for cash is enormous. The happy couple decides that their careers are vitally important and begin to work harder, seeking promotions and raises. The raises come, and so does another child and the need for a bigger house.

They work harder, become better employees, even more dedicated. They go back to school to get more specialized skills so they can earn more money. Maybe they take a second job. Their incomes go up, but so does the tax bracket they're in and the real estate taxes on their new large home, and their Social Security taxes, and all the other taxes. They get their large paycheck and wonder where all the money went. They buy some mutual funds and buy groceries with their credit card. The children reach 5 or 6 years of age, and the need to save for college increases as well as the need to save for their retirement. .

"That happy couple, born 35 years ago, is now trapped in the Rat Race for the rest of their working days. They work for the owners of their company, for the government paying taxes, and for the bank paying off a mortgage and credit cards.

"Then, they advise their own children to `study hard, get good grades, and find a safe job or career.' They learn nothing about money, except from those who profit from their naïveté, and work hard all their lives. The process repeats into another hard-working generation. This is the `Rat Race'."

 

- Robert Kiyosaki

  The Billionaire and Billionaire Teacher

Excerpts from "Keramos" - by H W Longfellow

Turn, turn, my wheel? Turn round and round
Without a pause, without a sound:
  So spins the flying world away!
This clay, well mixed with marl and sand,
Follows the motion of my hand;
Far some must follow, and some command,
  Though all are made of clay!
 

Thus sang the Potter at his task
Beneath the blossoming hawthorn-tree
 

Turn, turn, my wheel! All things must change
To something new, to something strange;
  Nothing that is can pause or stay;
The moon will wax, the moon will wane,
The mist and cloud will turn to rain,
The rain to mist and cloud again,
  To-morrow be to-day.

Turn, turn, my wheel! All life is brief;
What now is bud wilt soon be leaf,
  What now is leaf will soon decay;
The wind blows east, the wind blows west;
The blue eyes in the robin's nest
Will soon have wings and beak and breast,
  And flutter and fly away.

Turn, turn, my wheel! This earthen jar
A touch can make, a touch can mar;
  And shall it to the Potter say,
What makest thou. Thou hast no hand?
As men who think to understand
A world by their Creator planned,
  Who wiser is than they.
 

Turn, turn, my wheel! 'T is nature's plan
The child should grow into the man,
  The man grow wrinkled, old, and gray;
In youth the heart exults and sings,
The pulses leap, the feet have wings;
In age the cricket chirps, and brings
  The harvest home of day

Turn, turn, my wheel! The human race,
Of every tongue, of every place,
  Caucasian, Coptic, or Malay,
All that inhabit this great earth,
Whatever be their rank or worth,
Are kindred and allied by birth,
  And made of the same clay.

Turn, turn, my wheel! What is begun
At daybreak must at dark be done,
  To-morrow will be another day;
To-morrow the hot furnace flame
Will search the heart and try the frame,
And stamp with honor or with shame
  These vessels made of clay.

Stop, stop, my wheel! Too soon, too soon
The noon will be the afternoon,
  Too soon to-day be yesterday;
Behind us in our path we cast
The broken potsherds of the past,
And all are ground to dust a last,
  And trodden into clay!

 

- In the words of immortal Longfellow.

 

The whole poem "Keramos" can be read here:  http://www.selfknowledge.com/cphwl1c.htm